I went to the Czech republic a few days back.

Went kayaking down the river Berounka en route to Prague with a group of Czechs.

What a marvellous group of people they were too, I'll post some pics when I get them.

It was really cool to get immersed into a different mindset and culture, even if I couldn't understand a word of what most of them were on about the majority of the time!

I must say though, they piss all over us brits for hospitality. Generous and warm hearted was the impression they left me with.

How about this though, 15 of us, drank all night from like 730pm to 5am, ate copious amounts of grub and basically sang and danced the whole night through. The bill at the end of the evening, for all 15 of us was just 1600 crowns or Koruny. That's about £39-00 mad eh?

Ok, a little recipe for that unusual brekfast offering.

Take one unopened lamb shish kebab from the night before.

Open it up and remove the lettuce onions and tomato.

Put it in a dish

Take soggy pitta bread and cold cooked lamb chunks and throw on plate.

Stick plate and nuke aforementioned in microwave for 1 minute 10 seconds.

Pile salad on top of steaming culinary delight, and eat with knife and fork.

Wash down with opened half drank bottle of stella nice cup of coffee

For a night on the piss..

Just got back home after a night on the hit and miss with a few pals. Nothing ever change, oh no (name that tune)

It's great really, even coming back on the train on the way home was a giggle. If I ad 2 bob for every woman who flirted with me I'd be 10p richer

As I said in an earlier communique - its good to hook up with friends and talk bollocks.

Kings cross really isn't so bad these days

Dobrou Noc

x

Sometimes I think my tendency to exercise my have a good rant and moan muscle tends to take over and I just go into one. That's not good and I'm glad it's not encouraged either. Moaning and whining achieves not very much at all. Things like that Ive decided, are best aired over a pint or 25 with a mate who tells you to shut your cakehole.

I hereby declare that from this day forth, I will do my utmost not to blog about negative existential crap.

Who want's to read about that stuff anyway?

Bright and fluffy is where it's at.

End of broadcast

Doesn't look far does it? 9.3 miles according to that map. I'm dripping like a proverbial, damn it was hot out there but really satisfying too. On e the way there were these two big grey horses in some field somewhere, anti social feckers mind, I stopped and said hello and made a few click click noises with me teeth but they weren't interested. Perhaps its my lack of horse like features, or maybe it was the bluebottle sunglasses, or IPOD blaring out those whiney bastard Stereophonics.

Enroute I found out to my cost that in this place called Charlton there's this huge big hill that seems to go on forever. Even for a fat fit bloke like me, it really was a push, I had to get off the bike at one point and let my heart have a breather. I passed a few more experienced cyclists (eg those who wear all the gear and stuff) who were yep, you guessed it, going *down* this big hill rather than up. I did feel a little like a james as they whooshed on past me with grins on their boats. Anyways, I wasn't too peturbed cos I knew that at the end of it all what goes up must come down so knew that eventually I'd be rewarded with a big fuck off downward stretch myself, which I eventually found only to have my baseball cap blown off halfway down, which was a bit of a bugger as I had to get off the bike and walk back up to get the hat.

Still, I'm pleased nonetheless, new routes are all good, a little like a mystery tour you keep going and going - when you think youve gone far enough you bear left and keep on doing so til you see a villiage name you recognise. Its amazing how charged and refrshed you can feel after a good workout, especially on a gorgeous day like this. I'm gonna go for a little cruise now down to the ex bro inlaws with the old top down on the jam. A nice cup of tea and a natter seems to be in order.

Barbie round a pals at 3, Amber reckons she might come too, but made me laugh when she said.."I dunno dad, I might come with ya, depends what I'm doing really" IOW, dad you'll do if there's nothing better on the agenda.

Kids, gotta love em

I'm off out for a cycle and a day in the currant. Have a good day all

What a top sunny day it was in my neck of the woods tody. The kids got back at 830am from Crete so were a little grouchy due to no kip and whatnot but by and large seemed pleased to see me when I picked them up at lunchtime.

Amber moaned like hell, cos i had the top down.."Me hair dad me hair.." jesus like yeah ok, darling, I'll leave the top up, just for you sweetie, just cos your hair looks nice... Here wear my baseball cap and shut your cakehole.

The Spanish kids were over from, yup you guessed it Spai n- two little sweeties, Hoolia (Julia) and Natasha. Jake came over and Kelly showed her boat too. We had cake and bits and bobs, and a big fuck off paddling pool in the garden whereby we all did the water fight thing. God knows what those snobby arsed neighbours of theirs thought but feck em, serves em right for being offish and having an Aston Martin DB9 in the garage!

Shall I go off on one and get all metaphorical about the sun, my son, kids and appreciation and life and all that stuff?

Nah, can't be arsed, i think I'll call me Czech friend in Moravia and see whats up

Hope you all enjoyed your day, wherever you were.

xx

For those of you who are interested in the minutae of my fabulously exciting existence, herein follows something I can publically share

Did you know that Sloppy Guiseppe Pizza's from Pizza Express are just so yum? I've just scoffed one, it was amazing. My taste buds are currently dancing on a hotplate of 'oh yes give me more' my mouth is alive with the sound of pizza.

Not even sure what was on it, but it was the absolute nuts and worth every penny of the 2 and a half quid they charged in Sainsbury's.

Washing down the flavours with a nice drop of leffe now. The flat's all spick and span in preparation for the return of the sprogs tommorrow. It's the boys b'day too, Ive sorted out a little party for him down at me old mans. All his cousins and people who love him will be there. Ive asked the old mans mrs to sort out a cake and, yeah it should be fun all round.

Have'nt bought him anything for his b'day yet, will prolly get him an xbox live subscription and bung him a few quid too.

Jesus, he's 15 - makes me feel old, which reminds me eek I'm 39 on Monday! Christ.

So Chris Langham has been found guilty of downloading child porn...its odd because in lots of ways for me, he has been  humanised by his past comedical history.

Usually I read about this sort of stuff and think to myself - dirty no good piece of shit hang him up by his bollocks and thats it, end of. Yet with thise guy its a little different. Ignoring all of his excuses as to how and why he did what he did, I couldn't help but see it all as a bit of a tragedy. An outright waste of a funny talented mans career and life over what may well have been a momentary descent into madness by a man haunted or deranged by a life once passed.

I still can't get my head around it really. He just doesn't fit the stereotype resident in my head.

I then got thinking about how anyone of us could in theory end up with similar nasty stuff on our PC's and had 'wow, fuck moment'

Did you know that web pages can contain things called iframes and that these can be set to invisible status by the people using them? IFRames are used for all sorts of things from tracking scripts to advertising scripts to general cross site inclusion of content.

Every time you visit a webpage, unless you specify otherwise in your settings,the pages and the images contained within them are downlaoded to your temporary internet files folder. If you are like me and a little lazy then these files could sit around on your puter for weeks or months.

Back to that IFRAME thing. If one of these were in a page of a site you visited, then whatever was on this invisible page would also land up on your pc. What if this page happened to contain nasty porn stuff similar to what Mr Langham had on his PC

Section 160 of the Criminal Justice Act 1988

Under the section 160 of the 1988 Act:

"(1) It is an offence for a person to have any indecent photograph or pseudo-photograph of a child in his possession.

(2) Where a person is charged with an offence under ss(1) above, it shall be a defence for him to prove -

(a) that he had a legitimate reason for having the photograph or pseudo-photograph in his possession; or

(b) that he had not himself seen the photograph or pseudo-photograph and did not know, nor had any cause to suspect, it to be indecent; or

(c) that the photograph or pseudo-photograph was sent to him without any prior request made by him or on his behalf and that he did not keep it for an unreasonable time."

This offence is a serious arrestable offence with a maximum imprisonment term not exceeding six months. It has been successfully used in its new form in the recent cases of Sharp and Crumpton.

How many ordinary users would have a clue as to what may have caused the stuff to appear on their puters?

In view of stuff like that then perhaps its a good idea to regulary delete your temporary internet files...you never know what some sick fecker might decide to hide in their pages.

Of course, you can always alter your browser settings to super high and make your browser prompt you for practically every single instance of scripted windows, or disallow iframes and java and flash and movie files and...IOW, make your internet user experiece so amazingly crap that you'll just hate it and will never want to use it again.

It's sometimes good to write old crap

Let it flow and see it flap

Watch the words appear on screen

Sometimes being really mean

Free to say just what I like

Germain Greer is an ugly dyke

Free to talk such utter shit

Like Salman Rushdie's Illiterit

Free to vent and curse and woe

Absent blog friend, where did you go?

Free to cut it short like now

My ex misses, you ugly cow!

There here now follows a quick little ditty about a prime Minister I think will be shitty

I say this because I think he is tired, through years beside Tony he should have been fired

See Gordon Brown is a little bit stange, pulls funny faces perhaps he has Mange?

He's our PM eh, big whoopy doo, he looks to me like he don't have a clue

Standing there with Geoge Fuckin Bush, looking deserved of a punch in the mush

The dour canny scotsman eh, the new man on the block, if you ask my opinion he's a bit of a cock

10 years as chancellor, doing as he's told, look at him now - so fuckin old

Wavy grey hair and a bit of a derby, too much haggis and scotch quite pra'blee

More of the same is all we'll get from Brown, more piss and bluster with big let downs

More of the same political favours for businessmen pals with money to waiver

Money to fund economical plans to big up their empires all built upon sand

More bullshit meetings giving it large, hope and prosperity?...just sabotage

More death and killing out in Iraq, isn't it time he brought them all back?

Second lieutenant to thick boy Georgie, helping him out with his kill arabs orgy

Nah Gordon boy doesn't do it for me, he isn't autonomous no siree

He's just an old placeman a man to do deals, for spivs who run cartels and cheap go kart thrills

More of the same is all we'll get from Gord, economic liberalism I believe it is called