Here's a cool little thing, project playlist. Search for a tune you like, add it to a playlist, store them all up and whack a bit of code on your blog. It searches sites that have mp3's uploaded links to them and outputs them via their funky little flash player. You can keep adding songs to your playlist too. I doubt the copyright mob will like it but...{insert naughty word with them on the end}

You can autoplay it or leave it to people to click and choose, or let it randomise.

Tommy Cooper, just like that
Made us laugh and wore a hat

Big tall oaf, funny voice
Starey eyes, jokes of choice

Drank too much that's for sure
Made me laugh was not a bore

Fez and stuff a har har har
A little bit of magic, alacazar

glass bottle bottle glass
spoon jar spoon a har har har

Man walks into a butchers shop, butcher says "I bet you 10 quid you cant reach that meat up on the shelf" Man replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high..."

Two elephants fell off a cliff...boom boom.

Watch this, it's pretty interesting and says all sorts about the 30's and their morals and attitudes to the sexes and more specifically 'sex' itself and the dangers inherent!

The opening warning on the evils of syph are almost hell and brimstone in their intonement, I'd say some preacher out of the film Poltergeist wrote it! The acting is kind kooky, but bear with it, especially when she smiles sweetly and says "oh darling they are going to get married, if they can be happy we can too"

How times change, live well or go to hell folks.

Did you ever paint? Have you ever tried? Did you enjoy it?

Why can't people just let things go.

What is this slavery reparation bollocks?

Sure, discuss it by all means if you have to, but for gods sake, don't apologise on my behalf, I or my ancestors did nothing. We were in the workhouses or being used as cannon fodder to prop up some feudal lord or baron somewhere. Taking the logic of wealth built by exploitation to its logical outcome, you may as well argue that all wealth accrued by land ownership or bestowed by the crown was to the detriment and enslavement of those who lived and work the lands. How about a bit of reparation for the relatives of those too.

Grab all the wealth from old Duke of Westminster and share it out. Or what about the royal household. Redistribute all theirs too?

200 years ago bad things happened. Slavery was an awful thing, implemented by ruling class greedy bastards who had the capacity to see people as animals and commoditites.

The same people exist today, they go by the names of George and Tony and Vladimir.

Sony Gamers get a free HD TV. Nice little bonus eh? A £2500 quid HD telly.

They had just been told they had been rewarded for their patience and loyalty with a free £2,500 high-definition TV on which to play their shiny new console.

Personally, I wouldn't dream of queuing all night for anything, let alone a £500 games machine.

I've got an xbox360 that I picked up cheap for the boy and am pretty impressed with the quality. Gears of war is scary, trust me.

Becky makes an interesting point about Digg today.

For those of you who don't know Digg is a social media site where people 'digg' or 'bury' stories.

 Becky noticed that a lot of her blogs or dugg stories are often buried by the same groups of people. She looked a little further and found that the same people appeared to be doing the burying.

If you get a story on the front page of Digg it can get your blog a lot of attention. The greater the number of diggs, the higher you go in their system. Other people as a result will blog about what you say, especially if its interesting/noteworthy. Links are a currency, lots of links can earn you lots of attention and raise your importance/authority in the blogosphere and search engine scoring systems. Where money or influence can be bought cheaply and sold on for greater value, then some people will seek to exploit/ manipulate it.

As Becky shows, political groups and individuals are getting the hang of this web 2 stuff. They realise that certain platforms used correctly, can be useful tools for promoting their agendas.Heavily trafficked sites that push  messages out based on user metrics are popular because people believe that they are in some way democratic. The theory goes that if say 1000 people who use a system have felt motivated to click a button whose subtext is 'this a great site/story', then it must be worth a look.

I guess ultimately, people will always try and game systems.If its exploitable and people feel they can get away with it without causing too much observable harm, then people will act out of self interest and do what they do.

We are all on some level political animals; we will use our friends and networks to achieve our aims, be they benevolent or otherwise. Its how life works.Be it newspapers, tv shows, radio, and of course now the internet, people will look for ways of pushing their agendas and getting their mesage in front of your face.

Knowledge is power dudes

Burn candle burn give us some light
Deft little flickers are such a delight

Turn up the flame burn with desire
Let us all feel your pulsating fire

Watching your flame glow orange and red
Putting my hands up to your head

Basking in your warmth and heartening glow
As the crowd and the masses they cheer below

Burning with passion your light is aglow
The wisdom and energy it doeth bestow

Turn down the flame, its far too hot
We do not wish to exhaust you not

To have no warmth would make us cold
Without your fire what would be told

No more interest no more desire
Just a cold dark dank spent, funeral pyre

She smiles so happy, bright and cheerful
Lippy and trappy, she gives me earfuls

Her smile is big, her teeth are gappy
She loves to tell me, shut your trappy

She sings and dances and takes the stage
She wears cool clothes that are all the rage

She's blonde she's lovely, I love her lots
She is my daughter, Amber Watts.

x

Quick rant.

If you live or work in London and drive you would have at some point probably had to have paid the congestion charge.

£8 to enter an area of London and a big fine if you forget to pay it. Now, I'm not here to rant about the charge, thats been done to death far more eloquently than I ever could or more occassions than a matabelian witch doctor could shake a stick at.

My beef today is those adverts you get on the radio. The ones with the soft female melifluous voice and the cute little beeps from car horns and oh so innocent sounding.."what if I do this and that" type questions from some dumb sounding ass, whilst miss melifluous answers in those soft reassuring provided-you-pay-in-time-we-wont-nail-your-bollocks-(or tits)-to-the-mast tones!

Grrrrr, listen here Mr nasally-bugled-I'm-alrighty-jack-doing-very-nicely-thanks-very-much Ken Livingstone, no matter how you try and dress it up, you will never ever in a month of 75 degree centigrade sunny sundays convince me that the congestion charge is anything other than a diabolical liberty of the most monumental proportions, so there! I hope you feel put out for the knowledge too!

Seriously, do the advertising execs who are paid excessive amounts to dream up these cheery little pieces of "get inside your head and press your emotional buttons bullsit" really think that we will all sit there and say "awwww, how nice of them to put it like that" They must, else why would they bother!

Reminds me too of those other ads from the Inland Revenue. That nice old boy with the grey hair who talks enthusiastically about machines and inventions, the one where he is standing inside a big egg timer whilst the sands of time ebb away, whilst cheerily proclaiming if you don't pay your tax on time, you'll get hit with a fine of £100.

Know when you are getting got at people, and tell em bollox, thats what I say

Last month on average property prices rose 1.8%. Some people are now seeing their wealth increase by a greater rate than their incomes, simply due to the increasing valuation of their properties.

Apparently profiteering irresponsible banks are now giving people mortgages at 6 x rate of their salary, and in some case more!

Lets assume that you earn a modest sum of say £30,000 per year. Lots of people earn way below this, but its useful for the purposes of what I'm saying.

At a rate of 6% a mortgage on a loan of £180,000.00 would cost you over 300 months (25 years) about £1159.74 per month.

Your post tax net income from your wages would be in the region of £1840 per month leaving you around £700 to cover food costs, council tax, electric, gas, clothing, holidays and any other thing requiring a £ note. Not a lot to play with is there. Add kids to the equation and it becomes tighter still.

Now, imagine that rates went up by just 1%. You'd then have to find a further £111, at 2% its £230, 3% its £350. Basically for every extra % point it goes up you'll have to find £110. You think this unlikely? Just look back to late 80's and early 90's for a glimpse of what can happen to moneymarkets and interest rates. They are extremley volatile to say the least. Under a Tory chancellor in the late 80's interest rates hit a whopping 15%! Under that kind of rate our sample repayment rises to a staggering £2300 per month you'd need to earn an extra £500 per month simply to pay the mortgage!

The banks don't give a shit of course, they are quite happy to give mortgages for 90% of property value as they simply cant lose. If mortgage rates rise, or you lose your job and you can't pay, then they get the property to sell on, whilst you are evicted along with any shortfall liabilty arising.

That's the nightmare scenario. The other scenario is that rates again would rise, albeit not excessively, yet excessive enough to put you under considerable hardship. Where this happens, property prices fall, thus leaving you with a negative equity.You can't even sell to lessen your liabilities, you are stuck, up the creek without a paddle.

How is such an insanity allowed to prevail? Where I ask is the responsible lending there?

A roof over ones head is one of lifes fundamentals. Mortgages at those rates are irresponsible. The people who are forced to take them on often have little other alternative.Where is it all going I wonder.

Perhaps its a product of the I'm alright jack attitude that prevails. Many people are quite happy with the status quo. Lots of home owners have seen their homes and investments rocket and are now sitting pretty. A substantial number of people are not, and struggle through with an array of secondary less appealing options.

Can such stratifications be good for society? What future for our children and people unable to access the opportunities that such access to wealth brings. Do we want a ghettoised society. Do we want gated communities like they have in places like California

Where are the policies that will unite and integrate I wonder? Obvious really I guess, such policies don't exist. They simply aren't compatible with an unfettered free market economy.

A light it glows upon the rocks
Calling out and sending shocks
A rhythmic beat, a pulse of love
A resonance, yet not enough

The bag awaits its content to be
Shirts and Shorts quite possibly
A book, a tune, a reference point
To a land called home to soul anoint

The pull is strong, yet hesitant
In seek of life benevolent
The warmth and promise of talk intense
Yet still in fear and reticence

In doubt of word and feeling be
Just lost in a mazed soliloquy
Tender words that dance on ice
Perhaps for now, that will suffice

...Oh baby its cold outside!

Serious, its feckin freezin out there.

I just got back from a lickle cycle over to Letchworth to give Amber her hair straightners that she left here yesterday, who could resist an angelic, "Dad, I left my hair straighteners at yours can you bring them over to my house please..."

This was at around 9am so I looked up through the skylight, saw blue sky and thought yeah why not, I'll cycle over, 3 miles for crows around 4 for bipeds.

How looks can be deceptive, I'm kinda glad I wrapped up warm. I put on a t-shirt and my hoodie, banged on my Adicolor Clare Rayners, whacked a little pack on my back, and headed on up the hill.

Jesus, talk about howling bite through your arse wind! I was kinda lucky going up the hill cos the wind was behind me and gave me a determined assist. For a moment I thought to myself, fuck, I'm fitter than I thought as it really was a piece of piss.

I got to Amber's in record time - cold hands and warm heart ( I should have been a Dr) Amber bless, was still in her Jarmas, so I gave her the benefit of a big cold hug and a kiss before heading on back.

I detoured into the ex Bro In laws to nick a cup of tea and a quick natter before hitting the road again.

I took a different route home thinking that I needed to try and find a way that was a little bit different. Ever feel like some things are too familiar or same old same old? Its funny what goes through your mind when you are out and about peddling hard. I tend to play little tapes in my head and weigh and redress or balance out things that I'm not too sure of or that are bothering me in some way. I never come up with any answers mind, but its good to process and channel it throuugh a little physicality.If your ego is too noisy and won't give you a break, then go out and burn some cals, works wonders and shuts you up, trust me.

I made a bit of a boo boo on my route back though cos the wind really got me, especially as i went through some of the more exposed parts. There's one particular downward hill where I usually manage to attain 40mph, which on a bike, is pretty fast, i aint shitting you. Today with the wind in my face I had to really push to get above 10mph! I even put me hood up and found myself making references to the words fuck game and soldiers, but hey I made it back and feel like Ive done a bit, which is all good.

Off to see my adopted mum in a minute, gonna take her some flowers and give her a little card and some chocs and stuff.

People need to feel like they matter, here's a little idea for today, find someone you love, who matters to you, and let them know, just tell them, they might look at you as if you are a bit weird, or they might not even. Whatever their reaction you can be assured that it'll stay with them and warm their cockles. They'll love you for it, trust me.

Whatever you do today, I hope its nice.

Edit: Duh, I need to read the instructions it seems..

I quite like blog.co.uk. but I'm not totally enamoured with how when you create a new blog site, the whole world has to know about it.I think it would be cool if you could create new blogs and in some ways disassociate yourself from them publically, or at least have the option to hide their existence from other casual visitors or friends should you so choose..

Currently every new blog site that anyone creates is there to be seen by others in ones profile. For others, your new posts will appear to them in their 'friends posts' list and unless you make it private, everyone will be able to tie your identity to what you write.

If you make it private then its a pointless exercise as for me, the whole point of blogging is to communicate ideas, express what you think and gain a little feedback and discussion. If you want to keep everything private then you might as well just open up a word document and save it in a password protected directory on your hard drive!

Why does this matter? Well, as I've touched on already, there may for example, be something that I want to blog on which is kinda personal. It could be the rumination of the loss of a loved one, it could be some discussion of some obscure sexual fantasy involving sellotape and blue tack, it could be related to how crap my current job is (it isn't) , some anorak interest, a business venture maybe... basically, it could be any number of things that I want to discuss and get feedback on whilst at the same time preserving a degree of anonymity.

I think I'll write to blog.co.uk and see what they think. It shouldn't be too hard to implement, just a line of code in a file somewhere.

What a great film this is I loved it. I borrowed it off of a friend. I liked crouching tiger hidden dragon and another similar offering, the name of which escapes me right now but, hey what a great film this was.

Solemn, dignified, beautiful, enigmatic,artful, great choreography, poetic, emotional. It's so well connected,the direction, the soundtrack, the acting, you really get into the sense of honour that the characters feel towards their roles, you get a taste for the time. It really is a visual and aural feast, might even make a tear appear on your cheek too.

Check it.

Some kid on an advert on TV just asked the question

"What's the point of a daddy longlegs? They just come out and hassle you.."

He has a point too, to us they are just horrible, they fly in your mush and make you wave your hands around like a loon on speed trying to take off. They make your kids scream out "Dad! Dad! there's a daddy long legs in my room" they are a bit like wasps or bluebottles, shit don't even get me started on those fuckers.

But hey, just to get contrary for 10 seconds. There we go again in our arrogant we own the fucking planet way we have about us.

There is a point to them, however annoying they may be. They have as much right to earth tenancy as you or I. They are part of the biosphere, feeding other predators, enabling them to play their part in the thing that is life. Feeding the bird that fed the cat that fed the dog that fed the local tai pai take away that fed the bloke on the way home from the pub that....

I can see a new advert actually, there could be a group of people, all in various states of profession...actually no, hang on better still. Put all the MP's in a big room with Tony and George and have them all singing...

"I don't know why, we swallowed the lie, perhaps we all should fuck off and die..."

I used to enjoy watching that ray mears thing on the BBC. He'd make things and show you little techniques for survival. Be it tents, or obtaining water, or keeping warm or fishing techniques, it was all good stuff, I liked his style.

Right now, I'm watching this program on channel 4 there is this chap named Bear Gryss I think, who is walking round some jungle somewhere, closely followed by a camera crew. Oh no its not a jungle, its the Everglades. Swamps and crocodiles.

He is finding things like fish and maggots and frogs and putting them in his mouth and eating the buggers. Alive mind, no ceremonial slaughter or humane killing with this guy, uh uh. Straight in the gob munch munch munch.

I was only half watching this thing realy, until that was he finds this turtle, huge thing it was, like a big old chicken, only not a chicken. Minding its own business in the swamp doing the thing that turtles do, when suddenly this guy Bear finds it. He holds it up to the camera and starts going on about how important such things are in the wild to ones survival. Suddenley, he pulls out a big fuck off knife and yams it, straight in to the turtles head and kills the thing. He then stuck it on a fire and cooked the bugger.

Now, ok its a TV program and yeah, they've gotta make it watchable and maintain our interest, but really, was that so fuckin necessary I ask? I don't think it was. I think it was senseless brutality inflicted purely for effect. He didn't have to kill it, he could have just held up and said this would be yum, and moved on. Same with the fish and the frog I guess.

Oh look he has snake now, I spose he's gonna kill that little fucker too. Oh no, he let it go. Shit, what an arse, he could have skinned it and made a shoe.

Wanker.

Sally Clark was found at home today dead, she was 43.

She served three years in prison after being found guilty of murdering her newborn sons Christopher and Harry.

She was later released in 2003 after a court found the conviction to be unsafe.

The testimony of an expert witness Professor Roy Meadows was deemed to be pivotal in securing her conviction. Mr Meadows was later to be struck off the medical register by the GMC after being found guilty of serious professional misconduct. Decisions which were subsequently overturned at the high court of appeal.

It hasn't yet been reported as to the cause of Sallys death. Her family have spoken of the terrible toll that this whole episode had had upon her.

I can't begin to know what it must be like to serve three years in prison as a convicted child killer. One reads all sorts of accounts of how people convicted of such crimes are treated by their fellow inmates. I wouldn't even try to begin to imagine how it must feel to know that you are innocent and have to deal with all that comes with being convicted of such a thing. Add to that the loss of your children and the inability of being able to grieve for that loss and you can only but wonder what it does to ones soul.

The police and lawyers who prosecuted that case, the people who put stock in the evidence of one man, simply because he was a professor and esteemed professional, should today hang their heads in shame and take a very long look at themselves and how they conduct their business.

Life is precious, you get just one shot at it. Sallys life was ruined through no fault of her own. Crushed by the weight of an adversarial legal system that all too often convicts people on the basis of spurious claims or dubious evidence.

Rip Sally Clark, I hope you are with your babies and are now at peace.

...May well sound like I'm some kind of hitman, but I'm not, I'm signing up for a male escort agency. No no no, not the sleazy male prostitute variety where I'll be banging old grannies, or face like the back of a bus les dawson looky likeys or anything like that, oh no.

It's the type where you  just escort women who need a guy on their arms or a bit of company to a corporate event or social event somewhere. Someone to talk to and discuss things with, someone to have a laugh with even.

See, I've tried dating and to be honest, its all a bit of a pain in the arse. All that expectation, romantic hopes,  all that trying to impress nonsense, nah - I'm sick of it .

I think thats part of the draw with this male escort thing. I'll get to go out and have a bit of female company and get paid for it too, win win. I don't have to bang them or anything either, there's no obligation to any kind of romantic involvement too, just a plain old night out, doing something different with someone who is paying me for the pleasure, how bad that? If I dont like them or they don't like me then great, no problem either, I don't have to go through that whole feeling rejected or doing the rejecting thing.

Why else do I want to do this? Well, whilst I'm like most red blooded heterosexual chaps, as ive already said this isn't about finding women to bang and have sex with, this is more about the fact that in my job, I just don't get to meet women. It just doesn't happen. I don't even get to have a flirt on the m25 even, I leave work too early for traffic jams.

I come home, sometimes pick my kids up and feed them, then drop them off home and at times that'll be that for the evening.Don't get me wrong thats fine too, but it can get a little boring and repetitive, lifes more fun when its varied and random.

See,  I don't do that whole go to the pub thing and invade some womans space and due to the nature of where I live, don't get the options to go out with lots of friends and meet people socially; besides, it's hard work being a 38 divorcee singleton. Most of your mates are married, and many of your old friends are just caught up in their own lives or live miles away. 38 isn't a time of having lots of boozing buds and clubbing and going out on the pull - its different, Ive changed, I have to re-learn all this stuf and find out how it all works again I guess.

I love women, don't ask me what it is I love exactly, as I don't really know. I love their softness, their smooth features, I'm a sucker for beautiful eyes and a fine form, yet I'm also a sucker for the feminine nature in general. I love the way a woman see's things differently. Her perspectives on life in my limited experience have often been softer and more nurturing. I'm drawn to those things. I love the way they fawn and awww over babies and frilly things and perfumes, I love how they can get lost in shops for hours on end, I love the way they laugh or tease, I guess that ultimately, I just love that whole maternal thing. It might explain why I fell drawn to matriarchs. I love strong independant women who are family focused and orientated.Perhaps its the maternal thing. Freud said that we all want to get back and bang our mothers or in the case of women our fathers even ( the Oedipus Complex ) , those being the first real opposite sex loves of our lives. To me thats a bit icky, well actually cancel that, its a lot fucking icky! I prefer to side with the idea that as adults we all have a deeper need for that emotional reconnect. Subconsciously we look for aspects of our mothers or fathers in our prospective life partners. A cockney mo fo I aint.

Yeah ok, so not all women are like that either, I know that, duh. I've painted something close to a version of my idealised version of mrs  perfectomundo. There isn't anything inherently wrong with aggressive pushy women. Or macho women, of insert any number of different representations of female gender representations other than of course, that I don't find certain aspects of them that attractive, or at least have yet to meet one who displayed contrary characterisitics in abundance, that floated my boat

So yeah, I've filled in the forms and have sent my monies off to be vetted and cleared and be given the good to go. Watch this space. It should be fun.

Hat tip to James

Despite all the deeper issues it raises and all my complaining the other day, I gotta say I'm a sucker for a funny face and a bit of humour, so separating that out from all the stuff I ranted about the other day, i gotta say I have laughed and smiled and even shed a tear.

Emotive music coupled with emotive imagery have a powerful effect.

Maybe its the two glasses of chardonnay mixed up with visual graphics of pain and suffering blended amongst a well of cheer and hope as a graphic appears announcing 26 million squids raised. I dont know where such monies will go, but going with a belief that some charity somewhere will put it all to good work, using that thing called blind trust to say, 'Uh uh, no way it'll all get used on good stuff'. To be honest I didn't really want to watch it, but I got sucked in; the kids are staying over and they insisted, so I relented.

I still maintain that some of the bigger issues are being missed and that things like this are mere sticking plasters on a recurrent problem caused by the way in which societies are run and economies managed, yet I get too the reasons behind its popularity and pull, I'm not a fucking alien after all, I have feelings, I hurt, I feel pain , I laugh, I cry, just like most people!

People want to feel part of positive things. In many ways we may all to a degree or other feel relatively powerless to make a difference in the world. Perhaps things like this give us that opportunity to feel connected or part of something that is trying to make that difference.

When presented with various anectdotes about heartfelt stories of tragedy or proclaiment, then its natural that a good person would feel warmed and heartened to identify with an idea that suggested that they were making that important difference to those poor peoples lives. If you didn't then you might need to take some kind of rochstadt inkblot test and check the 'I'd like to know If Im a psychopath' box.

We all need to feel we belong. Who wants to be that person alone and isolated? Perhaps its a lack of purpose/identity thing. Perhaps we all need some thing or cause or other to latch on to and feel like we are doing something, feel part of that thing called nation or community even, fuck knows.

I still maintain its important to question and to challenge and say things that aren't popular, because life shouldn't be a popularity contest, it relies on controversary and sparks and contrary viewpoints to keep it all alive and buzzing. There's nothing wrong with those 'ambiguous dichotomous hard to grab hold of and define' counter positions. Life is a mass of contradictions and counter viewpoints.

Buenos Noches

My son came home from school with red hair. "Jordz", I asked, "what's the coup with the red hair son?" Oh shut up dad its red nose day innit...

He is bigger than me now 6ft 1 size 12 feet and still only 14, I was gonna chin him, but decided to spare him cos, actually...

Im off down to the salon in the morning to make it permenant

Hackers have control of a server I use to host a lot of my websites.

Hindsight is marvelous. I wish I'd be a little more sensible and distributed my sites across a greater range of hosts or IP addresses. I didn't, and now I'm paying the price.

It reminds you of how selfish some people can really be. These people, whoever they are just couldn't give a stuff about how their actions affect the lives of others. In their eyes if a door is open then its for them to push and walk in and do as they please.

My provider has had to switch the machine off, as these bastards were using it to send brute force attacks to other servers across the internet. This entails bombarding a server with multiple requests against a users account, often using a dictionary based attack. So, if your account name was fred then the hacker would make repeated http requests starting at aaaaaa and cycling through with aaaaab, aaaaac,e tc up to zzzzzzzz999 for example.

Most webservers protect client accounts from this, by recognising these using logs and rjecting the connection if say a remote request is made more than x amount of times within any given timeframe.

The problem for me however is that, multiple attacks like this not only hog up all available server resources, they also use excessive amounts of bandwidth, which when uncapped, can rise to considerable amounts of money very quickly. This is therefore effectively a DDOS attack aka denial of service.

We all have a propensity to feel like grabbing hold of someone and hitting them very hard.

Hackers are not smart, they are not clever, they are selfish cyber criminals who deserve to have ten tons of shit kicked out of them, just to make them think twice the next time.

I feel similarly about burglars and car thiefs. There really is little difference between the two.

I'm not happy.